I am not normally extreme with my ideas about what happens here on planet Earth (which is round, by the way). There are very few hills I am willing to die on, but there's something I have to get off my chest: I hate microwaves.
They must go. Where they go is up to you, but over the years I have realized how little I long to use these ugly contraptions in my day-to-day life. They're cumbersome, unnecessary, and if I had it my way we wouldn't rely on them at all.
SEE ALSO:Pizza Hut vs. Domino's vs. Papa John's: Trash Pizza, rankedI understand many of you are programmed to love the microwave, but let me tell you once and for all why I believe they are trash.
First, it is of course true that some folks must make do without a stove or oven, and microwaves are their only option for heating up food. But if you have the means, I beg of you to chuck your food onto the stove or into the oven. Your tastebuds will thank you!
Microwaving food doesn't strip away valuable nutrients or vitamins. (That's a point for you, microwave truthers out there.)
But it does involve radiation, which irrationally freaks me out despite the fact that this isn't necessarily a bad thing and that microwaves are regulated by the FDA. According to the World Health Organization, radiation is key to the microwave's functionality: "Water molecules vibrate when they absorb microwave energy, and the friction between the molecules results in heating which cooks the food."
Still, you deserve better than the dreaded taste of that "warmed-over flavor" — a phenomenon many have complained about, and something that happens to my food every time I use a microwave. (Though to be fair, the change in flavor is probably caused by changing chemicals in leftovers more than microwaves themselves.)
OK, so microwaves are technically fine and safe to use. I get it. But I have other qualms...
This one is simple: there are way too many restrictions on what can and cannot be microwaved. It's hard to keep up! Think of all energy you exert determining whether or not something is microwaveable (plus, all that Googling is hard on your thumbs.) Then you have to search your cupboards for a microwave-safe dish. It's too much.
microwaveCredit: giphyThis one is a no-brainer. In New York, for example, apartment kitchens are generally extremely small. If yours doesn't come with a built-in microwave, why squander precious counter space on such an ugly and useless appliance?
View this post on Instagram
See? What a waste. Instead, use that microwaved-sized gap on your counter as space for plants or a counter-top spice rack. Think of all the bowls of fruit or fresh flower arrangements you could put there instead. Much better than an unsightly metal box.
Now let's get into whether or not microwaves actually do the job they're meant to do — warm up your food. Anyone who's tried to heat up refrigerated leftovers in the microwave knows that one of the most frustrating aspect about these thingsis that often only part of your meal actually gets hot, while big pockets of food stay cold. Finding a balance in between over-cooking and under-heating your food in a microwave can be deeply tedious.
Another thing: If you've ever tried to re-heat a salty dish and found it still cold in the center, there's a reason for that. According to research from Penn State, the ions in salt and chlorine heat up in the microwave by "colliding" into each other, which means there's "less microwave energy available to heat the center of the food." Why would you put up with that? You deserve better than lukewarm food.
White House aide Kellyanne Conway made headlines back in 2017 when she suggested that the state has access to "microwaves that turn into cameras."
View this post on Instagram
Now, we know better than to trust everything that Conway tells us. (And former CIA director Mike Pompeo has denied that microwaves are used as tools by the government.) Despite all this, let me just say that I have seen every season of Scandal, a few episodes of House of Cards, and one episode of West Wingand...all I'm saying is, stranger things could happen.
Have I convinced you to ditch the big metal contraption hogging precious space in your apartment? If not, don't worry, that's fine. I'll still eat your microwaved popcorn when I come over for movie nights — but don't expect me to do so without a preaching the good word about a microwave-less life.
(责任编辑：焦點)
Richard Branson 'thought he was going to die' in bike accident
Sorry Queen Elizabeth, this American claims to be your rightful heir
Sleeping intern gets Photoshopped into a meme by coworkers
Apple dropping lightning for a USBSamsung Galaxy Note7 teardown reveals the magic behind the phone's iris scannerTwo states took big steps this week to get rid of the tampon tax
This week was a big one for those advocating against a tampon tax. 。 First, on Thursday, California t
...[详细]Apple dropping lightning for a USB
Apple likes to rip the band-aid off cleanly. No half measures, just a sharp and briefly painful leap
...[详细]Moon missions continue Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk's rocket
Another day, another unhinged-sounding plan to fly to the moon announced by an eccentric billionaire
...[详细]Watch this Texas sports anchor elegantly attack transphobic state laws
It's not often that local Texas sports anchors—or any sports anchors, really—come to the
...[详细]U.S. pole vaulter skids to a halt for national anthem
An American pole vaulter took his patriotism to the next level at the Olympics. 。Sam Kendricks, a sec
...[详细]Apple patent describes iPhone design with retractable screen
Apple's far-flung concepts for a future iPhone seem to be inspired by a famous snack food. The compa
...[详细]Sorry Queen Elizabeth, this American claims to be your rightful heir
British people pride themselves in their royal independence from their more powerful American cousin
...[详细]Looks like Hillary Clinton and the internet are on the same page about this Mike Pence email thing
By now, you've seen the photo. Snapped by Clinton communications manager Caitlin Quigley, it shows H
...[详细]Tyler, the Creator helped Frank Ocean celebrate 'Blonde' release in a delicious way
The release of Frank Ocean's
。 Blonde 。is a cause for celebration to the fans who waited four years fo
...[详细]Sarcastic kid has the most cynical joke about what will happen when she turns 100
Cynical. Sarcastic. Ironic. All words not typically used to describe the contents of a kid's drawing
...[详细]
