Physical contact? On one hand, it's a vital form of human communication. On the other, it's terrible.
Touching other people is one of humankind's greatest fallacies. We all know touching people exposes us to germs, maybe diseases and definitely weird sweat, but we do it anyway. This is f*cking ridiculous.
SEE ALSO:10 very dangerous activities you should avoid at all costsWell, it's time to slip on your latex gloves and take a stand. Your gross body is your own, and it doesn't have to touch other gross bodies if it doesn't want to.
If you love someone? Stay away from them. If you hate them, please do the same. Here's how.
Just shake hands with the air in front of you. The person will not try again.
Warm gloves, fashion gloves, rubber gloves. Take your pick.
You've always wanted to!
There are people on the internet who sting themselves with bees on purpose. There are also people who light cacti on fire, then eat them — also on purpose. Join the ranks of these fine men and add urushiol poisoning to your morning routine. Rest assured no one will touch you.
Did you just get back from an EDM festival? Have you recently organized your medicine cabinet? Do you know the most about politics? Keep talking about those things and no one will ever want to come near you.
Wow, it's so weird that everyone is too slow every single time.
A space suit.
There is a 100% chance you are allergic to both skin and air. Better not risk it, right?
We're not saying it exists. We're saying invent it. Do the work.
Good luck with your life of isolation!
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