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As two recently hatched eaglets continue to grow at the National Arboretum in Washington, D.C., the process of naming the birds is upon us but, unfortunately, it seems we're going the bland, patriotic route.

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The world was riveted when the birds hatched in March and WTOP reports that the American Eagle Foundation’s footage of the birds have racked up tens of millions of views in the last month and a half as curious viewers seek a view of the young birds. 

While the cameras offer entertaining shots, potential names for the hatchlings, which have been offered up for a vote, are a disappointment. They are the type of patriotic names that one would expect from a D.C.-based organization who named the two parent eagles "Mr. President" and "First Lady."

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Here are the names that are up for the choosing via an online poll running now through April 24:

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• Stars and Stripes

• Freedom and Liberty

• Anacostia and Potomac

• Honor and Glory

• Cherry and Blossom

These are either overly boring or overly complicated and none have the cache to catch on with a cynical American populace. 

Stars and Stripes? Seriously? A licensing deal couldn't be reached for Captain America and Iron Man? 

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We live in a world where Boaty McBoatface is a thing and Kim Kardashian has the biggest-selling app. GIVE US SOMETHING SEXY, DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE!

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To fix this travesty before it's too late, here are some alternative options so these eagles can have the memorable names they deserve:

• Bey and Jay
  

• Betsy and Ross
  

• Eagle McEagleface and Birdy McBird
  

• Dayman and Nightman
  

• Big and Mac
  

• Jay and Silent Bob
  

• Enzo and Cass
  

• Michelle Obama's Left Arm and Michelle Obama's Right Arm
  

• Simon and Garfunkel
  

• Van Halen and Van Hagar
  

• Left Shark and Right Shark
  

• Jean-Ralphio and Mona Lisa Saperstein
  

• Han Solo and Chewbaca
  

• Mary-Kate and Ashley
  

• Hall and Oates
  

• Rod and Todd
  

• Doc and Marty
  

• Jack and Coke
  

• Tango and Cash
  

• Jeb and ! 
  

Feel free to use any and all of these, Department of Agriculture. We're here to help.

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